Contact me for: Help for all members of birth or adoptive families at any stage of life—and no matter how, when or where your adoption took place—to navigate open adoption relationships, managing challenges at school, and finding the most useful ways to talk about adoption with children. I also work with adopted individuals and families about how adoption affects identity formation and what that means as children grow.

I have worked in the field of adoption for over 30 years and have post-graduate training in therapy with adoptive and foster families. I am an adoptive mom in a transracial family raising children with a range of special needs across three generations. I understand first hand both the joys and challenges adoption brings to a family. I have an office at The Cradle in Evanston, a satellite office in Oak Park and work with families via phone and Skype.

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Expert Articles by Judy Stigger, LCSW

Adoption and Foster Care

	Supporting your adopted children as they try to fit in at school Attending school is tough when you feel different or misunderstood. Consequently, educating your school and helping your child share his or her story helps normalize school experiences. Remember that ...
	Help your adopted kids by understanding the challenges they face As adoptive parents, you have likely heard that adoption adds an extra layer of complexity as a child grows. Even if your family talks about adoption openly, your child will have questions that come u...

Expert Articles Sponsored by Judy Stigger, LCSW

Adoption and Foster Care

	Providing optimal integration for a newly adopted older child With more families choosing to adopt older children, it is critical that parents receive pre- and post-adoption training and form a team of support personnel. Using medical, neuropsychological, occupa...
	Preparation and communication are vital for a successful adoption Adoption can be a very rewarding experience and a great way to build a family. It is vital to consider a variety of sources for adoption. Additionally, preparing yourself for raising a child by learni...
	Navigating the wonderful and overwhelming journey of adoption Adoption makes your family exceptional. It is a wonderfully complicated and overwhelming journey that comes with an incredible chance to truly change all lives involved. As an adoptive parent, you hav...
	Ease the transition to adoption and minimize the stressful journey These suggestions are not meant to be an exhaustive list of tips for navigating the adoption process. However, following them will ease your transition to adoptive parenthood and will likely decrease ...
	Supporting your adopted children as they try to fit in at school Attending school is tough when you feel different or misunderstood. Consequently, educating your school and helping your child share his or her story helps normalize school experiences. Remember that ...
	Help your adopted kids by understanding the challenges they face As adoptive parents, you have likely heard that adoption adds an extra layer of complexity as a child grows. Even if your family talks about adoption openly, your child will have questions that come u...
	Embrace discussion about birth parents with your adopted kids Talking about adoption and birth parents can feel complicated and scary for adoptive parents and their children who have questions about their identity, and an ever-evolving understanding of the joys ...
	Adoptees can utilize the Internet to safely connect with family Adoptees are able to connect with genetic family members via the Internet; however, caution must be used during the search process to avoid fraud. Use regularly updated and accurate websites and reuni...
	Build resilience strategies with your adoptive or foster family Raising children is rewarding but stressful. Even when exposed to high levels of stress, individuals can prevent crisis through effective coping strategies. Foster and adoptive parents have committed ...
	Parents can create long-term connections within blended families Blended families built by adoption can result in a strong connection between siblings because their relationships are built on intentionality, rather than an accident of birth. Give yourself and your ...
	Expert advice for making the adoption process smooth and enjoyable The adoption process is complex, but it does not need to be scary. Trust your gut instincts, educate yourself and rely on support--even if you think you don’t need it. Relax and enjoy the process. T...
	Adoptive parents must recognize and manage post-adoption depression Although it is not currently included as a specific onset of depression in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, post-adoption depression syndrome is gaining ground in the growing...
	Advice on socialization for internationally adopted children Social difficulties with peer interactions are quite common among children adopted internationally. There are numerous factors responsible for this situation, including complex childhood trauma, resul...
	White parents raising adopted children of color must grasp racism No one can know the perfect way to respond to insensitive remarks all the time. In fact, people commonly respond to racial insensitivity with shocked disbelief and stunned silence. It is only later th...
	Preparation is key when welcoming a foster child into your home Each time a foster child comes to live with you and your family, it will be a unique and a special experience. Every placement will be different. You are sure to have surprises from time to time, and ...
	What every adoptive parent should know about search and reunion One of the most common questions asked of search and reunion specialists is, "How many reunions are successful?" The answer is all of them. They are all successful because the initial effort was to fi...
	How can foster/adoptive parents meet the needs of traumatized kids? Becoming a mature adult is no easy task--even for people who don’t come from harsh beginnings. Understanding the sequential advancement of stages in a child’s social-emotional development can serv...
	The sequential path from childhood to mature adulthood A Modified Maslow's Hierarchy of Human Needs....
	Bringing home your newly adopted child: Managing the transition A warm, patient and open attitude can help adoptive parents deal effectively during the early weeks after bringing home their adopted child. Bonding cannot be forced, but can be facilitated through en...
	Adoptive parenting: Building bonds of strong, healthy attachment Adoptive parenting is a complex and beautiful journey. Being present to your individual child and building the bonds of healthy attachment as you fall in love with each other is the cornerstone of eve...
	What you need to know about adoption searches and social networking The prospect of adopted teenagers making contact with long-lost birth relatives online, in an unplanned way without support, is something that is very concerning for many adoptive parents. There are s...
	What adoptive parents need to know about financing your adoption Adoption can be a difficult experience for families. So many things are out of your control. It is tricky to know what to focus on and what is important. Create a detailed plan and like any plan, be f...
	Helping adopted and foster children navigate their early trauma If your children have been exposed to early childhood trauma, it is crucial to recognize that their behaviors may be communicating their distress. When parents understand the impact that trauma can ha...
	Building healthy attachment with adopted children is crucial Healthy attachment sets the stage for healthy emotional development in all of the relationships in a child’s life. Children from adoption can be at risk for attachment challenges. Remember that buil...
	Help adopted kids understand their birth heritage via open dialogue Always maintain ongoing openness and honesty with your adopted children concerning their biological roots, and in the story of why and how they came to be placed with you. Do not postpone talking abou...
	Expert advice for making first contact with birth family members Searching for birth family can be exciting. However, first contact can be overwhelming to think about. Be certain you are in direct contact with the person you are seeking and begin with a personal ph...
	Strengthen your adoptive family by building trust and connections Being an adoptive parent is a tremendously rewarding job, but it is also very challenging. Try to stay centered and calm by practicing mindfulness. Understand that your adopted child endured grief, lo...
	Keep foster children safe from the dangers of sexting Sexting, which poses a real threat to today’s youth, has become almost common among children across the globe. Children in foster care are especially at risk from the many dangers associated with se...
	Seek advice and professional help when adopting a child For anyone considering adoption the challenges are many, but most can be overcome. As you prepare for one of the most important decisions you will make in your life, it’s critical to do your homewor...
	Hire an attorney when adopting to protect you and the child Adopting a child is a complicated process. Having competent legal counsel to assist you along the way is essential to ensure that at the end of the day your rights, and the rights of the child you are...
	Expert advice on breastfeeding your baby by adoption or surrogacy Congratulations on considering breastfeeding. You are in for an incredible journey--and so is your baby. Every mother and baby--no matter how a baby arrives in a mother’s arms--should have the oppor...
	Strengthen the health and behavior of adopted children via feeding Food is the most basic way we nurture. Adoptive parents must get back to basics to help children attach well. Concerns of malnutrition, eating too much or eating too little can distract parents from t...

Improving Family Communication

	Strong parent-child relationships start with boundaries As parents, you are the role models for your children. To create healthy relationships, you must be present and attentive to their needs, take interest in their hobbies and activities, and carve out t...
	Teach polite communication to kids and put an end to backtalk Backtalk is a rite of passage. Almost all children try it on for size, so it is actually “normal” childhood behavior and communication. However, how parents respond to backtalk will determine whet...
	Nurturing your family relations by encouraging strong communication Due to our fast-paced lives, effective communication is essential to maintaining strong family connections. By encouraging each other to communicate freely with love and respect, family members will f...
	Accepting differences to create effective family communication The key to strong family communication is understanding each other’s beliefs on what it means to communicate and by regularly and openly discussing opinions, feelings and ideas with one another.Tony...
	Teaching kids about money will help them avoid debt issues as an adult Teaching kids about money and debt will have a profound effect on their futures in virtually every area of life. Taking the time to model responsible choices, discuss the realities of debt and focus o...
	Accept differences to create effective family communication The key to strong family communication is understanding each other’s beliefs on what it means to communicate and by regularly and openly discussing opinions, feelings and ideas with one another.Tony...
	Your child's challenging behavior is their way of communicating All behaviors carry a message. Quite often the message is about a basic human need going unmet. It is necessary to take the time to form a relationship with the person and discover what message is bei...
	Strengthening communication brings family members closer together As with most parenting techniques, love, understanding and patience prevail over aggression and frustration. Always take a moment to cool down and approach the situation in a calm and concise manner. ...
	Recognize the best ways to discuss serious family issues with kids After slowing yourself down, getting clear on how you are feeling and connecting with your children, communicate. Let them know what’s going on and keep them posted as things unfold. Reach out for s...
	Support your child athlete to create great experiences and memories In every athletic competition there are only four roles: players, coaches, spectators and officials. Before you get to the game, it is better for the athlete if everyone just chooses one of those role...
	Fostering a positive communicative environment for all children Declarative language encourages experience sharing. This is the essence of what communication and language use is all about....
	Talking to your children about coping with the loss of friendships Friends are friends because they support our decisions and stand behind us when we feel weak. A friendship is about sharing these times and being there for each other’s support. When this ends, it c...

Tackling Family Problems and Conflict

	Cooking as a family fosters fun and creativity in the kitchen Getting kids cooking in the kitchen is beneficial in so many ways. The no-pressure environment fostered by cooking as a family creates fun and creativity in the kitchen.Here’s a great recipe to try ...
	Recipe: Black-eyed pea salsa Here is a great salsa recipe that you can make with your kids that fosters fun and creativity in the kitchen. Make it as a side dish with dinner -- or ask your kids to make it for a snack during an a...
	Embracing and accepting autism can help kids build friendships Our world is made up of many different kinds of people. Embracing and accepting difference, and being open to friendships with individuals who are unique creates strength and compassion. Remember: nev...
	Good parenting can help prevent teens from using drugs and alcohol Remember that you can influence your teen, even though you may feel powerless at times. Do your best to be supportive, interested and knowledgeable about your child’s life. Talk to your teen about d...
	Supporting kids through the healing process after a disaster As a parent, remember that you know your child better than anyone else. Therefore, if a disaster occurs, you will already have a good sense of how to speak to your child and how to help him or her und...
	Manage difficult child behaviors with collaborative problem solving Parenting kids with challenging behaviors can be exhausting and frustrating when the behaviors result in explosions, meltdowns or behaviors, such as shutting down or withdrawing. Rewards and punishmen...
	How can families successfully manage their stress together at home? Stress can be quite difficult to manage, but is easier when approached as a family. Using easy techniques, such as affirmations, visualizing and mindfulness, you will find success in your stress manag...
	How can parents support children when a marriage turns rocky? Life can be challenging and marriage is difficult. Marriage with children is even harder. It is impossible to agree with your spouse about everything. There are days when agreeing with your spouse abo...
	Put an end to clutter and arguments by organizing your playroom In today’s fast-paced world, getting organized is not a luxury--it is a necessity. By implementing some simple organizing systems and regular routines, you and your child can create a functional pla...
	Positive prevention strategies can decrease a child's behaviors Teaching positive behaviors and decreasing challenging behaviors can seem daunting. But with a few changes to your approach, you can achieve real change. Don’t get bogged down in negative behaviors,...
	Create daily routines for children with weak executive functions Working with your children to institute a chore or organizational routine does not have to be a stressful process. Focus on your children’s strengths in order to develop a system that allows them to...
	How can parents help their kids develop essential social skills? Social skills are more of a key to success in life than high grades. Don’t underestimate the importance of spending time to develop these vital skills. Patience is the key to success. Learning new s...

Raising Healthy and Happy Kids

	Helping kids feel comfortable and safe in the water is key Time spent at the pool can be some of the happiest experiences in a person’s life. Enjoy these moments, always stay positive, and laugh and play with your children. Pick out fun bathing suits, caps,...
	Optimizing brain enrichment through positive digital screen time MRI studies show that the use of imagination and multisensory experiences increase blood flow to the brain. This is connected to neuronal activity, where new synapses can be created and dormant ones a...
	De-stressing doctor visits fosters a lifetime of health for kids By following this advice, regular doctor visits will be a piece of cake. Remember, it is possible to turn potentially dreadful experiences into fun events for your children. And making a visit to the ...
	Being proactive can help emotionally traumatized kids to heal Children can be traumatized as a result of bullying, violence or threats. However, by being prepared and knowledgeable, parents can help minimize the effects and begin the healing process....
	Proper nutrition can improve kids' learning and behavior problems Providing and encouraging a healthy diet can be a big challenge for busy parents. And in some homes, a child’s diet is non-negotiable because it is so important for health. However, the bottom line ...
	Help guide your child’s path to effectively coping with anxiety Anxiety is a normal emotion that all humans--including children--experience on a routine basis. However, children can experience anxiety to such a degree that it negatively impacts life or causes subs...
	Establishing safe, fun and productive bath time for children Safely bathing oneself is an extremely important skill for children to learn as they develop and become independent. However, bath time tends to be a stressful experience for many parents and children...
	Jumpstart your family’s day with a positive morning routine The morning routine contributes to children’s overall health and happiness. Following a good morning routine can squash speed bumps and get the day started in a positive way for the entire family....
	Parents should influence their children to eat healthy and exercise Don’t let your child be a statistic in the obesity epidemic. Start putting these tips into practice, creating healthy habits for you and your children, who will then be more likely to do the same fo...
	Finding a happy medium when enrolling kids in afterschool activities Before you commit your child to an activity, make sure you examine your needs, your child’s needs and what is best for the entire family. Remember to focus on the big picture when making these decis...
	Advice for raising emotionally happy and healthy twins and triplets Raising multiple-birth children is a challenge. It is important to avoid or diffuse competition and fighting. Additionally, respecting your children’s need for individuality, while respecting the tw...
	Creating healthy and happy mealtimes for children and parents Family mealtime is a crucial time to connect with your children and family--and to truly embrace each other. This is the time to create rituals and togetherness, as well as to serve healthy, nutritiou...
	Helping the entire family achieve a stress-free holiday season The holidays are a wonderful time of year because they encourage families to spend time together. The season also presents the perfect opportunity for parents to reinforce the importance of giving, sh...
	How you can boost your children’s self-worth and self-esteem Via positive reinforcement, strength based therapy and promoting socialization along with several group activities, children can become the most productive, capable citizens they can be as opposed to ...
	How can parents raise happy children with balanced priorities? There is no magic bullet that will guarantee your child’s long-term happiness. But the good news is that parents are in the best possible position to help their children develop a skill set that wil...
	Family meals foster healthy eating habits and close connections While many parents understand that family meals are important, they are not making the effort, due to conflicting schedules and the need to multitask. But separate meals result in a lack of cohesivene...
	Advice for motivating your kids and supporting their successes Every child wants to achieve success. No child wants to fail. So it is important to protect your child's motivation. If you see your children becoming discouraged in their school work or in a new acti...
	Parents can help kids make a difference in the lives of others The benefits that kids get from volunteering are quite amazing and life changing. It is important to show children early on that they can have a positive impact on the lives of others. While Alex woul...
	Help your children develop confidence and a healthy body image The Girl and Boy World will inevitably attempt to convince your children that they must conform to a specific way of looking and acting. While it is extremely difficult to completely protect your chil...
	Teach your anxious child better ways to cope and manage behaviors Remember that anxiety is a normal part of life, but some children struggle with it more than others. Collaborate with your children to find effective strategies to decrease their anxiety, such as an a...
	Helping girls love their bodies and cultivate healthy self-esteem Girls must stop viewing themselves as imperfect pieces, but rather as unique and a one-of-a-kind creations. They must be taught to practice self-acceptance in each moment, and to stop hating themselve...
	How can parents help their children minimize unnecessary stress? You cannot escape all stress. While it is important to recognize that some stress is good, when your child becomes anxious, weepy and unable to focus, it is time to make changes in your family’s lif...
	Parents can teach children to recognize and label their emotions Young children deal with many of the same emotions that adults do. They feel happy, angry, embarrassed, sad, frustrated and nervous. However, they often do not have the words to talk about how they ar...
	Expert advice for parents trying to raise emotionally-healthy twins Whether it is relationship problems, career concerns or existential dilemmas, if you have a close connection to each of your twins, they will likely come to you for your guidance and input. Understand...
	How can you raise body-confident kids in an image-obsessed society? While body image issues are on the rise in children, parents are not powerless when it comes to helping their kids grow up with the confidence they deserve. By being vigilant of the messages they are ...
	Expert advice on raising honest children Being honest is a lifelong process that begins early. Use every opportunity to nurture and grow your child's honesty....
	Broaden your child's diet and establish healthy eating behaviors Every parent wishes to raise a good eater who is excited to experiment with new foods. But kids are notoriously picky. Instead of giving up and making the same three dishes over and over again, try to...
	Organize playdates for kids who struggle with social interactions Take the time to understand and examine your children’s strengths and struggles, so you can best support them. Be aware of how your own expectations and demands may impact these interactions. Find w...